Writing

Here are various poems and a couple of featured short stories. 

More writing updates will take place on this website's blog.

Our ties

 

between us...

i like what we have

our connection

it's so delicate and reassuring

so painfully 

...lovely

it could snap like that

you don't see how i carefully watch it every day

tenderly trailing my hands over its overt dark matter

and the stars that shine through and grow in numbers

each

and

every

day

all because you care

and yet i want you to notice

how much

joy

it brings me

Japanese Translation by Tomoki Mutsui:

 

あなたとわたし

その間にあるもの

それが愛おしい

わたしたちの繋がり

繊細で安らか

胸が痛むほど愛おしい

それはパチンッ、と弾む

あなたは知らないんだ

わたしが毎日毎晩

心を向けていることを

あなたがこの手に優しく触れさせるのは

真っ黒なあれと幾千にきらめく星

昨日も

今日も

明日も

あなたにとってはどうでもいいかもね

それでも、気づいて欲しい

それが

どれほどの喜びを

わたしにもたらすかを

I comprehend the room

 

I walked into a room once

just as the room walked into me

casually 

striding

little strands of waves

proceeding through my ears and eyes

translating into the neurotransmitters

that process too quick

for me to resist their demonic scorn

i weaken 

at the knees

as i see you there at your most primal

your phone to year ear

and your hand 

toying 

with 

the poem i wrote you

and slowly it crumples in your palm

you say to some invisible being,

"it was good, but I'm beyond that now.”

Greedy for Universes

 

I take frequency strands and

Lasso them to the cores of people

whose frequencies mysteriously attract mine

And grow these frequencies until they become

the dense universes that bind us

—the stars, the galaxies, the nuances, the dark matter

Is it greed, I wonder?

What remains is the underlying longing

to do this with so many,

To grow this garden of frequencies

For the rest of my life

with as many possible

Yet it can never be enough

Looking

 

I looked Left for a while 

To find Right had found another home

Because of how i neglected its duties.

Those duties aren’t mine, i said

They looked away sullenly

Forward was not impressed.

So i turned to Downward

But then i couldn’t see Above

And when i wandered around confused,

Closed my eyes—i saw Black

Who said and did nothing.

Permanent Revolution

 

Through this everlasting revolution, over all the odds, the confusion 

There may never be a final answer

And when I break down in tears, grabbing endlessly at the forever revolving truth,

Then becomes the time to stand up—

Now is the time, during this permanent revolution—

Spread all of my hundred cramped up wings, open all of my million eyes

And like the child with face in the dirt—

Stand up and run towards the nebulous unknown

Into the light we may never go, instead into the infinite Colors and Darkness that reach out to us

They stand together, hand in hand, smiling, and no matter how overwhelming 

We soar on

Let us go into this infinite expansion

Towards our union, towards love

And meanwhile, no matter how the dimensions of other minds bombard, lavish in them, in it—this revolution

Like deeply feeling the rain, a hopeful laugh, waiting for a new blue sky.

Reaching

 

A child once reached up and

Grabbed a star

Attached it to a string

kicked up the sand and

slid through it a mile

Swung the star in circles

Before losing hold—

back to the black canvas dream

it soared.

The child now grown

Took everything outside

Threw it all toward the wind-torn sea

All that was

Supposed to be

And then looked up to the canvas

again, reaching.

The Hidden Dimensions 

 

Accessed with the mind

a place so out of reach 

yet so close like 

the blue of the atmosphere,

 

They said that maybe

the universe is strings

and beyond our eyes a multiverse

Infinite dimensions of reality

 

Because of these neurons

i write words

Watching through

small, translucent windows

 

tainted with colors 

They passed it off as fantasy—

told me someday i’ll 

have to pay the bills

 

but i grabbed my pen and paper and

clung to this 

Portal made of neurons—

continued to stare though 

 

its hopeful window

 

Short Story: The Legend of Zxerou

 

In a land called Merp, rested upon an unusually small island was a village filled with dragons. (Of course, from the human point of view, the island was enormous!) There, living among these dragons was a somewhat long, silver, (albeit “wimpy” according to dragon standards) dragon called Zxerou (pronounced zero). Zei* was neither she, he, nor it because zei was genderless and not technically a dragon… I won’t get into that because that would be a whole other story. 

     On this particular day, Zxerou was at "training lessons" along with a number of peculiar dragons who all seemed to have major attitude issues. One was quite large and muscular, one was round and lumpy, one was lean and haughtily posed, one had an eternal sly smirk, and one other was quite wimpy, just like Zxerou. Zxerou was in full armor along with everyone else. Huir helm was crooked and zei dragged huir shield upon the floor. Huir friend, Birch, was the wimpy dragon like Zxerou, but much better off than en for nei had notable muscles. 

     "ALRIGHT!" Master screamed. (Huir voice was always a scream...) "Today is FLIGHT TRAINING!!!”

     "But sir..." started another dragon named Meep, who was most incredibly strong, but too shy for huir brawn.

     "YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW! We have trained like that ever since you were little maggots, BUT THIS IS BASIC TRAINING!!!" Master distracted.

     "But I thought this was major fighting class," said Mudlash, the lean and haughtily posed dragon who was also clever and could beat anyone in a fighting contest.

     Master crossed huir big brawny arms over huir chest. "Yes, quite, but YOU LAME DRAGONS CAN'T EVEN PICK UP A SWORD!!!"

     Oh, gurgling glacksticks. I hope this doesn't turn into another ‘Master and Mudlash mess,’ Zxerou thought with a great glare of agony to the sky. Birch, who was patiently sitting beside Zxerou was nodding off to sleep. (Obviously, that was known as "patience" to the dragons. Dragons slept when bored, even at the dinner table and that was considered a compliment). Zxerou nudged nem awake.

     Get up, zei said through huir mind to Birch with a strange double voice—one a little higher and one a little lower. Get up before Master blasts us to the infinites…

     Master was pacing back and forth, observing the dragon's wings. The little dragon's wings amused en, and zei chuckled.

     "TERRIBLE WINGS!" he said with a grunt when zei got to the end of the line of dragons. "All of you will FAIL!!!"

     "Especially you, Zxerou," Mudlash hissed under huir breath towards Zxerou. "You will never be the God of the Dragons."

     The other dragons chuckled at this. Zxerou only stared ahead blankly as Master lifted huir oversized tail and gave a big, loud fart to silence the dragons. When that didn't work, he began to erupt.

     "SILENCE YOU LITTLE MAGGOTS, BEFORE I EAT ALL THE LIVING CARPFLEAS FROM THOSE LITTLE BRAINS OF YOURS!!!" he thundered with a great shake of huir great, overhanging belly. 

     Still, the room did not fall silent.

     "Not before I roast you and eat you," Zxerou managed to say in a snarky manner.

     Birch laughed at this in an overly exaggerated manner until Zxerou gave nem another nudge. 

     Finally, after twenty whole minutes, the dragons became silent. At last, Master gave the orders.

     "ALRIGHT!" he boomed. "Now, go and do twenty laps around Merp!!!"

     Everyone moaned and groaned and began filing out of the main training hall.

     "Unless you want me to stick FIFTY FIREBALLS UP YOUR BUTTS!" Master continued.

     "No, no!" everyone cried in discorded unison. They immediately became silent.

     Zxerou was pushed and mauled by the hefty dragons as they all attempted to fit though the door at once. (Not to mention, the door was more made for long dragons like Zxerou or Birch or their dreaded enemy, Mudlash). When Zxerou and Birch were finally outside, they came to find that all the other dragons had taken off and were already halfway around Merp. 

     "Come on," said Zxerou, flapping once with huir wings and lifting off the ground.

     "Oh, joy," Birch groaned close behind Zxerou. "I absolutely, definitely, positively, seriously... Well, I kind of forgot what I was going to say, but I think I was about to say that... I HATE THE FACT MASTER MAKES US RUN LAPS!!!"

     "Hmmm..." Zxerou said, hardly surprised. "Quite so, since we are supposedly training to protect stupid jewels from knights who want to slay us…and you mean fly laps.”

     "It's all myth!" howled Birch. "They're training us for MYTH!"

     And so they both flew on as Zxerou managed to hold back huir temper while Birch complained and complained. (And even though one wing beat brought all the dragons practically halfway around the island of Merp, they still took an hour to finish. How lame).

 

_________

 

 

*Zei is a pronoun declination in a new third person pronoun system I’ve been trying out. This system includes categorizing people into proximate and obviative categories, the proximate person being the one more in focus, otherwise doing an action, whereas the obviative person is the one less in focus, otherwise the person being acted upon. Categories are also further split into masculine, feminine, and neuter genders. However, gendered versions of the obviative/proximate pronouns are only used at first mention of a subject and reintroduced when the subject to which is being referred is unclear. Otherwise, the genders turn neutral. I will list out the pronouns:

Proximate neutral: zei, en, huir, huirs, enself

Proximate masculine: he, him, his, his, himself

Proximate feminine: she, her, her, hers, herself

Obviate neutral: nei, nem, neir, neirs, nemself

Obviate masculine: ve, vir, vis, vis, virself

Obviate feminine: sie, sier, sier, siers, sierself

I know, it is a lot but I wanted to try it out.